1. Posted: February 12, 2020In:

    After a student accidentally dies and she gets the blame, a burned-out teacher goes on the run, but when news spreads and kids? behaviour and test results improve nationwide, teachers unite and she must lead them in a revolution to bring fear and respect back to the classroom.

    Lotcher Samurai

    I think you?ve almost got the comedy across but there needs to be an antagonist to help punctuate the irony.Here?s a different take (with some alterations): When an overly-strict teacher intimidates her underperforming classroom by spreading rumours of killing a student, the murderer ? an unstable sRead more

    I think you?ve almost got the comedy across but there needs to be an antagonist to help punctuate the irony.

    Here?s a different take (with some alterations): When an overly-strict teacher intimidates her underperforming classroom by spreading rumours of killing a student, the murderer ? an unstable student councillor ? is tasked with assessing her psychology during undisciplined supervised ?teachings?.

    By the way, was your story idea inspired by this Rowan Atkinson Live skit, Headmaster Kills Student?

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  2. Posted: February 10, 2020In:

    SHORT FILM: In a society where companions unite with a finger trap, a desperate man goes on the search for a partner. After a long struggle, he inserts his own finger into his trap, uniting with himself.  

    Best Answer
    Tjmohr Logliner

    Thanks so much for the feedback Trix! Yeah I understand "a long struggle" is a little vague. Still trying to work out which shape or form this struggle takes palce. Basically his desperation is scaring people off. Yeah I am planning a qutie stylized almost cartooney style.

    Thanks so much for the feedback Trix!

    Yeah I understand “a long struggle” is a little vague. Still trying to work out which shape or form this struggle takes palce. Basically his desperation is scaring people off.

    Yeah I am planning a qutie stylized almost cartooney style.

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  3. Posted: January 23, 2020In:

    A daughter and a father sits at a table. From chewing with her mouth open, to bad table manners to taking drugs right in front of him, the father does not realise anything because he is distracted by his phone.

    Best Answer
    yqwertz Mentor

    Is this a short? If so, you should mention it in the comment section. (If it's not a short, then you have a problem as this will not hold the audience's attention for 90 minutes.) As this seems like a good subject matter for a short, I'll assume it is a short. Most shorts are structured like a jokeRead more

    Is this a short? If so, you should mention it in the comment section. (If it’s not a short, then you have a problem as this will not hold the audience’s attention for 90 minutes.)

    As this seems like a good subject matter for a short, I’ll assume it is a short. Most shorts are structured like a joke in that they have a setup followed by a punch. (In contrast to a joke, the punch in a short need not be funny, but could be sad or horrifying.) You don’t want to give away the punch. Your logline should be all about the setup. Try this for starters and see where you can take it:

    When her father is too distracted by his iPhone to listen to the story of her science project, a ten year old girl resorts to ever more drastic measures to get his attention.

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