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  1. Posted: October 9, 2015In: Comedy

    After a restructuring of a television company, an elderly narcissistic newscaster is forced to become a child TV host to maintain his future employment.

    Klintbom Logliner
    Added an answer on October 9, 2015 at 10:38 pm

    After a restructuring of a television company, an elderly narcissistic newscaster is forced to host a kids tv pilot to maintain his future employment.

    After a restructuring of a television company, an elderly narcissistic newscaster is forced to host a kids tv pilot to maintain his future employment.

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  2. Posted: October 8, 2015In: Comedy

    After an unruly party, a college dropout must share a paper route with his 12 year old overachieving neighbor to cover the damage.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on October 8, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Agreed with the above. The wording lets the concept down better to start with the inciting incident and end with the goal. After damaging his friends house a high-school dropout must share a paper route with his 12 yo overachieving neighbor. Why is high-school drop out important to the plot it seamsRead more

    Agreed with the above.

    The wording lets the concept down better to start with the inciting incident and end with the goal.

    After damaging his friends house a high-school dropout must share a paper route with his 12 yo overachieving neighbor.

    Why is high-school drop out important to the plot it seams more of a device to create an odd couple with the over achiever, is there a better description for the MC a character flaw that could give him a reason to change? If so better to use that instead as a description.

    Hope this helps.

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  3. Posted: October 8, 2015In: Comedy

    To pay off damage done at a party, a 20 year old slacker high school burnout has to share a paper route with his 12 year old overachieving neighbor.

    steveylang Samurai
    Added an answer on October 8, 2015 at 3:50 am

    You have the beginnings of a rom-com premise- the 2 different, unlikely love leads. But you need the situation or hook that brings them together, it typically can't just be "he likes her" and pursues her through the conventional ways.Usually the thing that brings them together is also related to whaRead more

    You have the beginnings of a rom-com premise- the 2 different, unlikely love leads. But you need the situation or hook that brings them together, it typically can’t just be “he likes her” and pursues her through the conventional ways.

    Usually the thing that brings them together is also related to what makes the potential relationship difficult. For example, in the old “Can’t Buy Me Love”, the loser guy pays the popular girl to hang out with him so he’ll become more popular, but of course they develop a real relationship. Their differing social status is what brings them together, but also keeps them apart/makes the relationship difficult.

    When you come up with that hook, it will not only make your logline but will also give you a backbone to put your story together and hang all your different ideas about the characters, love and relationships, etc.

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