1. Posted: November 10, 2015In:

    When a conservative man adjusts to life in a wheelchair, he suddenly finds it difficult to achieve an erection. Snubbed by his busy, self-centered wife, and desperate to reclaim his virility, he must use something he hasn?t in years: porn. (Short Film)

    Best Answer
    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I think it's a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic... if the man can't have an erection, porn isn't a solution. Maybe it's just because he can't have an erection for his wife that he needs porn. Avoid the word "man"... be more specific. Make clear what is the incitingRead more

    Hello,

    I think it’s a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic… if the man can’t have an erection, porn isn’t a solution. Maybe it’s just because he can’t have an erection for his wife that he needs porn.

    Avoid the word “man”… be more specific.

    Make clear what is the inciting event – the wheelchair or the wife snobbing him?

    and make clear where is the source of conflict (or there is no story: a man is snobbed by his wife, he watches porn -end of the story) ?You can make the logline shorter, something like:
    “When a conservative teologist on?a wheelchair is snobbed by his wife, he’ll find that to acces porn isn’t easy as he thought”, if the story is about a man on a wheelchair who need to access porn (visually, what action take place in the story).

    Psychologically, I won’t put the blame on the wife, maybe it’s the man who feel unconfortable on his wheelchair and feels like he can’t love anymore, like he’s inadequate (a more complex character).

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: October 25, 2015In:

    Series Logline: A quirky, man crazy, thirty-something turns her life upside down to find out why she is loveless and unlucky in New York City.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    When working spec on a series best to start by drafting a logline for the pilot. It is this episode that will set the tone, look, feel, episode structure and most importantly of all the ongoing premise of the series. What happens to the MC in the first episode that forces her to need to achieve someRead more

    When working spec on a series best to start by drafting a logline for the pilot. It is this episode that will set the tone, look, feel, episode structure and most importantly of all the ongoing premise of the series.

    What happens to the MC in the first episode that forces her to need to achieve something?? In other words what is the inciting incident and goal in the first ep?

    Hope this helps.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: October 24, 2015In:

    When a disheartened pastor?s one-time love turned?risqu??reality star whirls back into his small town, he?risks his job by joining the cast of her reality show in hopes of winning her back.

    Knightrider Mentor

    I like it, there are some hints to the conflict that might occur as you can imagine the situations that may challenge his faith, his commitment to this person ... Especially if the show was like a Bachelor combined with America's Next Top Model so have he is almost living in a world of sin. My onlyRead more

    I like it, there are some hints to the conflict that might occur as you can imagine the situations that may challenge his faith, his commitment to this person … Especially if the show was like a Bachelor combined with America’s Next Top Model so have he is almost living in a world of sin.

    My only nitpick might be losing a job may not be high enough stakes, granted this case job is tied to faith and losing that is a big deal.

    So it might be an interesting twist that his faith is restored by a group of people he’d thought he’d hate a bit like Miss Congeniality.

    See less
    • 0