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  1. Posted: December 12, 2015In: Comedy

    When a young fantasy writer encounters a bad boy erotic fiction author, she must learn to escape her fantasy world to revel in her new reality.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on December 21, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Agreed with the above comment. In addition, what is it that the main character needs to do? As learn to escape is a vague description of the story's main action. To learn is an inner process and will not make for a very good cinematic action, the logline needs a specific objective that she would neeRead more

    Agreed with the above comment.

    In addition, what is it that the main character needs to do? As learn to escape is a vague description of the story’s main action.
    To learn is an inner process and will not make for a very good cinematic action, the logline needs a specific objective that she would need to achieve which will clearly indicate that she has successfully learned a lesson.

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  2. Posted: December 14, 2015In: Comedy

    After a bittersweet divorce, the most successful writer of his time spirals into a depressive writer?s block. He begins his life anew alongside his two new and highly dysfunctional roommates which inadvertently jumpstarts his new comedic book series, Man Chronicles.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on December 20, 2015 at 9:50 am

    The first sentence in this logline describes back-story and can be cut down to: After suffering a depressive writer's block... The problem with this concept is that it lacks a clear line of causality between the actions and events it describes. Divorce then writer's block then new life then new roomRead more

    The first sentence in this logline describes back-story and can be cut down to: After suffering a depressive writer’s block…

    The problem with this concept is that it lacks a clear line of causality between the actions and events it describes. Divorce then writer’s block then new life then new roomates then new book, these do not logically necessitate each other in the order they are written in the logline.? The events and actions in the logline may be clearly connected in the synopsis, but for the logline purposes best to describe only the A plot vital actions. If the main character is a writer, the A plot is about him overcoming his writers block not his divorce (backstory) or his new roomates (allies).

    The other problem is the lack of a clearly defined and visual goal. What is it exactly that he wants?? To write a successful book is not a good enough goal, success is too broad and won’t translate visually to the cinema screenvery well.? Perhaps best to define a deadline by which he has to turn in a manuscript to his publisher or else he loses his contract?

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  3. Posted: December 3, 2015In: Comedy

    After drunkenly trashing his dealer’s car, a 25 year old slacker has to secretly use the only job he has, a shared paper route with his overachieving 14 year old sister to distribute weed until it gets fixed.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on December 13, 2015 at 9:26 am

    A slacker, not sure it is the right word or paints enough of a picture. ?The sibling rivalry may be great, but is it the aim of the script? If so start with that, "sibling rivalry boils over when..." ?I like the idea of a loser do a paper to sell drugs. "Desperate for money to fix his dealers car aRead more

    A slacker, not sure it is the right word or paints enough of a picture. ?The sibling rivalry may be great, but is it the aim of the script? If so start with that, “sibling rivalry boils over when…” ?I like the idea of a loser do a paper to sell drugs.

    “Desperate for money to fix his dealers car a stoner shares his ( over achiever) sisters paper route as a ruse to sell weed.”

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