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A mild mannered accountant accidentally kills a mobster in a hit and run accident and must escape the mob?s revenge and another mob?s quest to silence him as he hightails it with the dead mobster?s wayward wife and two bratty kids to safety in the Arizona desert.
Great advice: ?the "one-breath rule".As FFF said, the logline ?juggles too many balls, too many jokes. ?A good logline for a comedy is about one Big Joke that the rest of the story builds on with riffs and mixes to a climactic button scene.Like "Tootsie" where the Big Joke is ?an?unsuccessful actorRead more
Great advice: ?the “one-breath rule”.
As FFF said, the logline ?juggles too many balls, too many jokes. ?A good logline for a comedy is about one Big Joke that the rest of the story builds on with riffs and mixes to a climactic button scene.
Like “Tootsie” where the Big Joke is ?an?unsuccessful actor disguises himself as a woman to ?get a role in a soap opera. Everything else, all the complications, mishaps, all the comedy build on that ?Big Joke.
What’s the one Big Joke in this premise on which the rest of the story builds?
See lessAfter a successful suicide attempt, the spirit of a failed actor joins forces with a mediocre comedian to create a Tony-worthy Broadway production.
In the major league religions, his soul is already damned for having committed suicide .?And this version obscures the fact that he's producing the Broadway show. ? And how can he produce a Broadway show when he's ?dead? ?And why would death take the wager when, in terms of the actor's soul, ?he's aRead more
In the major league religions, his soul is already damned for having committed suicide .?And this version obscures the fact that he’s producing the Broadway show. ? And how can he produce a Broadway show when he’s ?dead? ?And why would death take the wager when, in terms of the actor’s soul, ?he’s already won?
See lessWhen execs threaten to cancel his show by season’s end, a hopeless paranormal investigator invites a clueless celebrity cast for the final episode to restore interest in his show.
You have the paranormal investigator as the protagonist. Most of the time when a group of unsuspecting guests are invited to spend the night in a haunted mansion, the person who invites them all is the bad guy. That's alright but as stated above we would really need a convincing reason in the loglinRead more
You have the paranormal investigator as the protagonist.
Most of the time when a group of unsuspecting guests are invited to spend the night in a haunted mansion, the person who invites them all is the bad guy. That’s alright but as stated above we would really need a convincing reason in the logline to pull for your lead character.
Hope that helps
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