1. Posted: May 9, 2017In:

    An awkward, young man attempts to dissuade his imaginary friend from accompanying him on a first date, only to find he’s not the only one with an overactive imagination.

    dpg Singularity

    >>Do you really need to clarify what?s at stake on a first date? Isn?t that self explanatory? Perhaps. ?But because he's socially awkward, maybe he would want his imaginary friend along ?to ease the tension, to help him overcome his awkwardness. IOW: I don't see what particular problem havingRead more

    >>Do you really need to clarify what?s at stake on a first date? Isn?t that self explanatory?

    Perhaps. ?But because he’s socially awkward, maybe he would want his imaginary friend along ?to ease the tension, to help him overcome his awkwardness. IOW: I don’t see what particular problem having his imaginary friend along creates. ?Particular in this situation as distinct from the general problem of having an imaginary friend who ?subs for a real one.

    Nor do I see what particular problem is created by his date bringing along an imaginary friend. ?I can guess what the problem might be, but I shouldn’t have to guess; the logline should inform me. ?Your logline sets up a situation that I imagine can go in any number of directions. ?But it’s not my story. ?I want to know what is the specific direction you intend to take with this situation, the particular plot you have in your imagination.

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  2. Posted: May 3, 2017In:

    Two sleazy disgraceful cops become unlikely heroes in their last-ditch effort to save their jobs and the damaged reputation of their department by vowing to take down a powerful drug and sex trafficking operation they?re steady customers of.

    dpg Singularity

    An original ?issue remains; ?why should an audience care? ?Why should they want them to succeed?Given the negative image of the police in the USA, what can you say about them that would give an audience a reason to be on their side, to root for them? ?They deserve to be fired -- heck, tried, convictRead more

    An original ?issue remains; ?why should an audience care? ?Why should they want them to succeed?

    Given the negative image of the police in the USA, what can you say about them that would give an audience a reason to be on their side, to root for them? ?They deserve to be fired — heck, tried, convicted and sentenced to jail for the violations of the law, abuse of authority. ?They are ?outlaws, scoundrels.

    What is their implied character arc?

    Or do wish to portray them as rogues who by pulling off some 3rd Act heroics are able to get away with their abuses, don’t have to fess up to their misdeeds, don’t have pay for their crimes?

    What dramatic theme are you exploring with these rogue cops, anyway?

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  3. Posted: April 30, 2017In:

    Thirty five year old toy designer John who hates kids gets a chance to design toys for one of the best toy manufacturing company under the super vision of four year old Sara.

    dpg Singularity

    The logline sets up an interesting situation for the adult character -- but fails to give to him a plot, There is no indication where the story is going to go with the setup.Given the situation he finds himself in, what must ?he about it? ? Or else -- what are the stakes?If he's the protagonist thenRead more

    The logline sets up an interesting situation for the adult character — but fails to give to him a plot, There is no indication where the story is going to go with the setup.

    Given the situation he finds himself in, what must ?he about it? ? Or else — what are the stakes?

    If he’s the protagonist then he needs to have a proactive role in pursuit of an objective goal. ?What is that goal?

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