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  1. Posted: August 4, 2017In: Comedy

    Terrified of his parents suspicions, a freshly outed gay high school senior must get a girlfriend so his parents will think he is straight.

    Best Answer
    Roberto Alto Logliner
    Added an answer on August 17, 2017 at 12:26 am

    "Freshly outed," is an odd word combo. Maybe the way?the kid is outed (the missing event) leads to his choice to make arrangements for a "girlfriend." This suggest that he is outed at school or work and that his parents aren't aware of the outing. If he was outed in front of his parents, then the giRead more

    “Freshly outed,” is an odd word combo. Maybe the way?the kid is outed (the missing event) leads to his choice to make arrangements for a “girlfriend.” This suggest that he is outed at school or work and that his parents aren’t aware of the outing. If he was outed in front of his parents, then the girlfriend idea would be pointless. Maybe he is outed in one place in the story and there is a sense that the news will be traveling to his parents over the course of a day. A time element (clicking rocks) is important in the latter half of the screenplay. “Getting a girlfriend” isn’t believable either, it implies a random female is in the ready to act as the prop he suddenly needs to solve a problem. Maybe it is his boyfriends sister who agrees to step in while he figures out a way to properly come out to his parents. Perhaps, they depend on a confusion over names. Then, the parents meet the girl’s family and they really like each other. Then in a double?family outing, they let the parents of the gay boy know what’s really happening. The audience knows this is going to happen, so it will be very exciting to see how they tell them. Maybe they put on a family play and go back to the name confusion theme. I go in this direction because the logline as it stands implies that the solution and end of the story is to be okay with living a lie and to be unloyal to the parents. I think an end note of acceptance is better. How about: “When a?high school’s?theatrical production leads to an unforeseen outing of the main star, the frightened student?reaches out to his boyfriend’s family to find the best way to ease his family into his new lifestyle.” The event should be emphasized – beyond just a random “outing.” How it occurs can be part of what John Truby calls the “design principle” of the story. In Tootsie, the design principal is the use of a TV soap opera setting to play out the character development – it made sense because it was a world where people wore costumes, make-up, etc. It sounds like a wonderful beginning!

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  2. Posted: August 16, 2017In: Comedy

    When a widow realizes that the ongoing completion of her late husband?s life?s work — an adventure park — is depleting her entire inheritance, she decides to integrate a working village in the park to generate income and inadvertently attracts a cult.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 16, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    A logline is a brief statement of one plot with one? overarching objective goal.??There can be other goals and intermediate goals subsumed in subplots and milestones. ?But a logline is about, and only about,?the overarching objective goal -- the spine that supports and holds together everything.

    A logline is a brief statement of one plot with one? overarching objective goal.??There can be other goals and intermediate goals subsumed in subplots and milestones. ?But a logline is about, and only about,?the overarching objective goal — the spine that supports and holds together everything.

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  3. Posted: August 9, 2017In: Comedy

    This is an idea I’ve had for a while for a short film: After a depressed alien calls into a radio show and threatens to destroy the city, the host, a suicidal middle aged woman, must talk down the alien and prevent mass destruction.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 13, 2017 at 11:09 am

    The inciting incident needs to be irrevocable proof that a danger to the city exists, or else it fails to provide the necessary and sudden shift in the world of the MC. Secondly, about the goal: just talking a terrorist out of doing the bad thing they intend to do is not enough. If someone outrightRead more

    The inciting incident needs to be irrevocable proof that a danger to the city exists, or else it fails to provide the necessary and sudden shift in the world of the MC.

    Secondly, about the goal: just talking a terrorist out of doing the bad thing they intend to do is not enough. If someone outright threatens the lives of all the people in the city I live in, I would have to catch them and put them in jail to rest at ease. The goal, therefore, doesn’t match up to the stakes at hand. Perhaps make it so she needs to keep him on the line long enough for the authorities to trace his call and find his location.

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