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Buddy Comedy: ONE BAD APPLE A LAPD COP?S new partner is a PSYCHIC; just as her powers make incredible busts she gets fired when she fingers the POLICE CHIEF.
And then what happens? ?What is the plot that results? The logline sets up a situation and inciting incident for a plot, but doesn't follow through with laying out a complete plot. ?Nor is it clear who the protagonist is. Who is the protagonist? Who is in the drivers's seat of the story -- the LAPDRead more
And then what happens? ?What is the plot that results?
The logline sets up a situation and inciting incident for a plot, but doesn’t follow through with laying out a complete plot. ?Nor is it clear who the protagonist is.
Who is the protagonist? Who is in the drivers’s seat of the story — the LAPD cop or his psychic partner? ?If the latter, then the logline should be framed leading off with her — not him.
And what become the objective goal of the designated protagonist as a result of fingering the chief of police? ?What is the story about?
(Also, loglines shouldn’t include the title, the genre. Those are entered in separate fields. ?And DON”T USE ALL CAPS.
See lessA dracula who hates killing people for blood finds a companionship in a coward son of a gangster.
I do love the idea of this odd mix of genre characters. I echo most by saying to have an inciting incident and reason for them to need each other or meet each other at least.? The one I read in these comments is way to long and complex - tighten it and lighten it up I would suggest.? Like a 10 yearRead more
I do love the idea of this odd mix of genre characters. I echo most by saying to have an inciting incident and reason for them to need each other or meet each other at least.? The one I read in these comments is way to long and complex – tighten it and lighten it up I would suggest.? Like a 10 year would understand.? Keep at it on this one.
See lessan incurious uber driver wants to go home finds that his final pickup is a young terrorist with a ticking time bomb. so he use his skills to deliver him before it explodes.
My dark comedy take on this logline: an incurious uber driver wants to go home finds that his final pickup is a young terrorist with a ticking time bomb. so he drives his car to the bank that took his house?to deliver him as a gift.
My dark comedy take on this logline:
an incurious uber driver wants to go home finds that his final pickup is a young terrorist with a ticking time bomb. so he drives his car to the bank that took his house?to deliver him as a gift.
See less