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after a bizarre experience in his lawn, a know-it-all businessman seeks out the-indian-guru-next-door to-instead-find himself in the drug business with a hippie
The concept is confusing. A few questions that come to mind are: Mid-life crisis or not, why would a "...top gun..." business man change his business if he is already successful? I assume "...top gun..." means very good, perhaps best to change the description to something more relevant like 'a sharkRead more
The concept is confusing.
A few questions that come to mind are:
Mid-life crisis or not, why would a “…top gun…” business man change his business if he is already successful?
I assume “…top gun…” means very good, perhaps best to change the description to something more relevant like ‘a shark’.
Since it’s set in the US, a marijuana business would be legal in most states – why would the DEA take issue with him?
What does a media firm have to do with drug enforcement?
Other than the logic flaws, what is his major problem? Is it the DEA? The media firm? A decline in business? What is his goal?
As a logline’s primary function is to describe a plot, it needs a main character, an inciting incident and a goal – something you can’t have a strong plot without. It seems as though most of your concepts suffer from similar issues, I strongly suggest you read through other posts or the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for a more detailed explanation.
See lessa broke man falls back to his “college dream band” only to realize his record producer is the mafia he is running from
This logline really only sets up the Inciting Incident. So rather than promising a 100 minute movie, it gives us the first 15 minutes. A logline needs to hold the promise of a full-length film. To fix this, you need to answer the question DPG asks above: "What MUST he do".
This logline really only sets up the Inciting Incident.
So rather than promising a 100 minute movie, it gives us the first 15 minutes.
A logline needs to hold the promise of a full-length film.
To fix this, you need to answer the question DPG asks above: “What MUST he do”.
See lessTo motivate himself to get back into shape, a former college athlete proposes to his off & on girlfriend , only to find out she only said yes to impress her to woo her high school sweetheart.
Possible title: "Can't Win for Losing"
Possible title: “Can’t Win for Losing”
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