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  1. Posted: March 30, 2018In: Comedy

    After learning about their spouse’s college fling, two unhappily married lovers plot their reunion only to encounter hopeless loyalty

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 31, 2018 at 10:20 pm

    Re: >>> ... attempt to make their unwaveringly loyal spouses fall in love with each other?I think Richiev's version is good enough.? "Unwavering" is what is? discovered as a consequence of trying to match them up with others.How do you know that someone is "unwavering" about anything?? YouRead more

    Re:
    >>> … attempt to make their unwaveringly loyal spouses fall in love with each other?

    I think Richiev’s version is good enough.? “Unwavering” is what is? discovered as a consequence of trying to match them up with others.

    How do you know that someone is “unwavering” about anything?? You know only because you challenge them, tempt them, test their commitment.? You can’t say someone is unwavering until their position or relationship is put to the test.? And that test doesn’t occur until Act 2.? But a logline is about the knowledge the protagonists act upon in the 1st Act, not what they come to realize by Act 3.

    If they knew that their spouses were “unwavering” in Act 1, they would have never tried their scheme.? They try their scheme because they don’t know, because they have (flimsy or fanciful) grounds to believe they can pull it off.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: March 30, 2018In: Comedy

    The acrimonious break-up of the house couple sparks a cold war between the men and women living in a student house in 1980s Manchester (UK).

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 30, 2018 at 8:04 am

    >>>sparks a cold warThat's a predicament, a situation for a plot.? But the logline doesn't follow through with a plot..? And a logline is a concise statement of a plot.And we have no idea who is the protagonist.Who is the protagonist?? What is his or her objective goal?

    >>>sparks a cold war

    That’s a predicament, a situation for a plot.? But the logline doesn’t follow through with a plot..? And a logline is a concise statement of a plot.

    And we have no idea who is the protagonist.

    Who is the protagonist?? What is his or her objective goal?

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  3. Posted: March 27, 2018In: Comedy

    When a broke musician is accidentally locked in a wine cellar with a rich beautiful socialite, he desperately attempts to woo her (and her wealth) before somebody comes to their rescue.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 28, 2018 at 8:11 am

    While an impoverished musician and a rich socialite are accidentally and briefly trapped a wine cellar, he stokes his courage with wine in order to ask her for a date. (30 words)Or some such.? My point is that if you're going to trap them in a wine cellar, then use the situation in the logline (andRead more

    While an impoverished musician and a rich socialite are accidentally and briefly trapped a wine cellar, he stokes his courage with wine in order to ask her for a date.
    (30 words)

    Or some such.? My point is that if you’re going to trap them in a wine cellar, then use the situation in the logline (and plot), use the booze.? Otherwise the wine cellar is a throw away, a? wasted opportunity for comedy. Might as well trap them in a malfunctioning elevator instead.

    I’m invoking a dramatic principle on that point known as “Chekhov’s Gun”.? It’s named after the great Russian dramatist Anton Chekhov, who stated that “If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired.? Otherwise don’t put it there.”

    fwiw

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