ZiBaricon

Recent reviews

• on A sensitive murderer character of a novel faces agonizing dilemma when a mysterious reader wreaks havoc in the fictional world, forcing him to kill his friends as an exchange for letting him enter reality and start a new life.

  Pretty much ditto what everyone else said, but I really think this is a rad sounding premise. I think it also has a lot of potential in terms of questioning free will, since a fictional character only has as much…

• on Charlie, a translator, finds his wife has been murdered and turned into an undead shadow creature. He must interpret her speech and discover the mystery behind her death.

  Thank you so much for the feedback!

• on Charlie, a translator, finds his wife has been murdered and turned into an undead shadow creature. He must interpret her speech and discover the mystery behind her death.

  The shadow creatures (called noir) is basically the same person personality wise as they were living, just with shadow abilities and their speech becomes static noise when they're excited over something (like, say, talking about their death). Same thing happens…

• on A man?s wife is murdered while investigating undead shadow people, leading him to delve into the nature of these creatures.

  Thank you very much for the feedback! This is my first time ever doing a logline and I think I got caught up in making it as short as possible rather than clear.

• on When a basketball star learns of his own childhood abduction, his guilty mother becomes a vengeful rival, jeopardizing his shot at championship glory.

  I like how the pitch is given in terms of tone and the active language, but there is something that's confusing me. If the mother is a vengeful rival, is she playing basketball against him? If she's old enough to…

• on A hopelessly bad-tempered aspiring cop in a crime-filled city is bitten by a vampire, giving him the supernatural powers necessary to defeat the criminals overpowering the local police force.

  You could probably get away with removing "hopelessly bad-tempered," since it's not necessary to know for the basic plot. I like it otherwise and tells me exactly what it is. I think removing that one chunk will make it shorter…