vivien

Recent reviews

• on After being disgracefully fired for cheating from his billion-dollar startup, penniless maverick joins his ex-girlfriend’s bankrupt company to regain his lost glory

  Thank you for the clarification. I understand your story better now. I the logline you only include the essentials because you only have 35 words max to tell your story. Beyond that, people will lose interest. Here is my rough…

• on After being disgracefully fired for cheating from his billion-dollar startup, penniless maverick joins his ex-girlfriend’s bankrupt company to regain his lost glory

  The story sounds interesting. It could be a comedy as well. I have a couple of questions: 1. What does the maverick expect from joining a bankrupt company? Does he intend to turn it around? 2. What may prevent him…

• on When her brother suddenly dies, an anxiety prone sister is forced to hatch an elaborate scheme to conceal the tragedy from her suspicious mother who stops at nothing to unravel the truth.

  Thank you for sharing the story about the Korean film maker. If I decide to write about a Vietnamese immigrant family, I'll definitely say so in the logline. Originally my family immigrated to Australia and I immigrated to California but…

• on An arrogant crime scene cleaner and her impressionable partner/best friend begin a messy murder spree to provide the work that’ll save their business from going under.

  Dpg, two dark comedy of this nature come to my mind: - Delicatessen (a cannibal butcher and landlord) - In Bruge (two ruthless professional hit men)

• on An arrogant crime scene cleaner and her impressionable partner/best friend begin a messy murder spree to provide the work that’ll save their business from going under.

  I can see the absurbity of your story. You'd need flawless execution to make a film about two serial killers funny. I can think of two films of this genre: Delicatessen (a cannibal butcher) and In Bruge (two professional hit…

• on When her brother suddenly dies, an anxiety prone sister is forced to hatch an elaborate scheme to conceal the tragedy from her suspicious mother who stops at nothing to unravel the truth.

  Hi Philippe, Thank you for your comments. Your dissection of the logline is very helpful. Reading your comments I realise that my logline is not clear and thus has caused confusion. The sister did not kill the brother. He died…

• on When her brother suddenly dies, an anxiety prone sister is forced to hatch an elaborate scheme to conceal the tragedy from her suspicious mother who stops at nothing to unravel the truth.

  Thank you for your comments. You revised logline is positive and shows the true essence of the story. Thank you. I really like your analogy of the mother's journey to the seeking for an answer to the mystery of the…

• on When her brother suddenly dies, an anxiety prone sister is forced to hatch an elaborate scheme to conceal the tragedy from her suspicious mother who stops at nothing to unravel the truth.

  Thank you for your comments. The protagonist is the sister and the mother also plays the main supporting role. The story is about a close family who is very protective of the mother. All characters in the story are adults…

• on Claudia Amanda, a compliant daughter of a tycoon, has to entangle in an agreement to save his dad and the people behind the success of their company.

  The story is not clear to me. Why does Claudia need to save her dad and the people in their company? What trouble does the father encounter? What agreement does Claudia get into and with whom does she make the…