-
on
When sent a package containing her boyfriend’s belongings, a conflicted lover must uncover the cause of his disappearance; but when she learns he willingly vanished to pursue space travel, she must embrace selflessness and accept his decision.
I like it! But the ACTION in the second half can be stronger. Right now it only gives us her psychological growth, not a visible (filmable) action. Of course, short films are more flexible, and perhaps the climactic scene is…
-
on
When his beloved community website suddenly disappears, a stubborn story scientist must fight bureaucracy and greedy corporations to regain control of his domain and bring the site back to life.
I don't want to live it. I don't want to see it. But it decently structured, right?
-
on
In the early 1960s, a young mother’s anxiety makes her suspicious of everyone, even her 11 year-old son, who takes on a mission to heal her by making her laugh.
I love the idea. Can you rewrite the logline by focusing more on the main character (the son)? What specific event made him decide to take action? And given that healing is a process, what is the specific point the…
-
on
To get a new set of legs, a paraplegic marine agrees to pilot an avatar (expensive living bio-puppet made of his dead brother’s and an indigenous tribes DNA). While helping relocate the natives for strip-mining, he’s spiritually transformed, falls for the chief’s daughter, and acts against the greedy organisation to prevent the settlement and planet from exploitation (57).
I'm posting this here just for my own reference, as it is a surprisingly detailed, yet concise paragraph synopsis: When his brother is killed in a robbery, paraplegic Marine Jake Sully decides to take his place in a mission on…
-
on
When a delusional young woman is confronted by the closure of her uncle’s vintage car dealership, she must travel cross-country to see it one last time.
It is unclear how the woman's delusion is connected to the story, or whether she can somehow overcome it. Also, we could do with some higher stakes. Why should she see the dealership again?
-
on
Dangerous and heart-wrenching things an elderly Charlie does because of his own Alzheimer’s and bad childhood memories.
Thank you for your extensive review! On this site, I encourage people to reveal as much as possible, as we're developing our stories and the people reading are not (yet) the audience. Until the film is complete, in our industry…
-
on
When his son is kidnapped, an overprotective father must go on a long and tough journey to find his son.
They're clownfish! This needs to be clear from the logline.
-
on
A group of hybrid humans and predators like Cannonbolt of Ben 10 version transformed into subsidiary ecosystem like Elysium space station must kill the mortals who stand in their way to conquer the galaxy into ecosystem by building exterior and interior dimensional planets between the dimension of universe.
I wanted to review but my brain just exploded.
-
on
Imprisoned cowboy elephant, Rabab (45), is presented with a 3-day do or die mission – capture a cowgirl vigilante, Sky (20), or his bomb collar will be detonated. But when Sky reveals that the Sheriff who imprisoned Rabab was involved in the genocide of Rabab’s race, Rabab must team up with Sky, take down the Sheriff and his deputies, and remove the bomb collar before his trunk blows off.
I love it! Here are a few things to consider: - Avoid the repetition of 'cowboy vigilante'. - Is the hero a bounty hunter who goes after elephants and aliens, or is he an elephant who catches aliens? I guess…