Stephanie Basile

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

Loglines

on A 13 year old little brother had grown up around the lives of crooked cops, gangsters,corrupted politicians, a broken family, and a brother who is hated by them all. Will the little fella help his brother, abandon him, or do absolutely nothing?

As said above, the main problem with this logline is that we have absolutely no sense of what the protagonist's goal is. Also with the last part I feel it would be more effective if it was just an ultimatum.…
on "A young girl disappears from her home and a body is found days later. When one of her friends receives a letter from her supposedly dead friend, events start to get twisted.."

You've mentioned the inciting incident in the logline when (like the others have said above) it is far more important to give us more detail about the protagonist and their goal. You haven't told us anything about how the protagonist…