NEGenge

Recent reviews

• on In a post-apocalyptic future, when a reckless government agent learns that his long lost brother is a test subject in a brutal military experiment, he helps a terrorist cell fight through a dangerous wasteland to free a host of captured children.

  All good points about the dystopian/apocalyptic/future. However, I wouldn't thing the current American public would be all that happy if their current government had spent a generation or two using children as lab rats either, so... At least I would…

• on Two psychotic sisters, obsessed by jealously, plot to murder their new stepmother.

  Hmmm. Reminds me of the Columbo episode where the twin psychotic sisters *did* murder their stepmother :) - but that is neither here nor there, stepmothers have always made good targets. This is an unusual logline in that it's almost…

• on In a post-apocalyptic future, when a reckless government agent learns that his long lost brother is a test subject in a brutal military experiment, he helps a terrorist cell fight through a dangerous wasteland to free a host of captured children.

  Ah, more info. :) I still think you can skip the whole dystopian intro. At this point, it really is a matter of striping out the unnecessary or redundant... Little things like "sworn enemy" is really just any enemy, no…

• on In a post-apocalyptic future, when a reckless government agent learns that his long lost brother is a test subject in a brutal military experiment, he helps a terrorist cell fight through a dangerous wasteland to free a host of captured children.

  "In a post-apocalyptic future, when a reckless government agent learns that his long lost brother is a test subject in a brutal military experiment, he helps a terrorist cell fight through a dangerous wasteland to free a host of captured…

• on After moving into a new apartment, a famous writer sets up various cameras to spy on his strange neighbour.

  Hi! Like the new version better than the old, but, I'm still missing a few things when I read it... "Famous" doesn't add anything here, it doesn't explain why he'd want to tape his neighbour or why he'd set up…

• on After moving into a new apartment, a famous writer sets up various cameras to spy on his strange neighbour.

  Interesting. Interesting with the old footage inclusion as well, but, have to say, I didn't get that from the logline itself. I'm sure you'll sort that part in a minute. On the logline though, the missing thing for me is…

• on Left on a mountain to die, a helpless baby survives a deadly Fog. Years later, while seeking a secret Key, Aidan Andrews Maximus maybe losing his soul.

  I think you need to connect these events in some way? Maybe... "A.A. Maximus survived being abandoned on a hillside in a deadly fog, but now fears for his life again as, he tries to _____________ and avoid __________." Better…

• on A determined boy separated from his newfound sweetheart must cross the Bass Strait and come to the rescue before Tasmania is destroyed by rising sea levels.

  Just one question... only been to Tasmania once, and I'm not geography expert, but, isn't Tasmania more... mountainous than the other side of the Strait? I don't actually remember if it was or not, but, something just made me stop…

• on Santa F

  Does this work? "A retired luchador must elude American border patrols and crack a lethal human trafficking ring to recover his lost daughter." or, alternately, "A retired luchador must crack a lethal human trafficking ring and elude American border patrols…

• on In the near future, a manipulative drug addict is deceived into a subconscious form of intervention–by the people who care about him the most.

  Intriguing idea so far! The way it's written, it seems as if it's a surprise that the people who love him would intervene. I don't think that's the surprising element. Why would someone who doesn't care do anything for anyone?…

• on A mystically unnoticeable "Sea cliff" is the catalyst for the place of change. Story one is about an old lady, in all her alternative new age approach, change and moves on from grieving of her husband's death, before spreading his ashes into the ocean from the sea cliff. Story two is about an OCD, analytical & rigid couple, sick of their lifestyle, breaks their habits as for once they decide to go someplace chaotic(sea cliff), as they become intimate in there, later on, the once considered sterile couple are happy about becoming parents.

  Hi! Interesting elements here, but, definitely not a logline. :) If you look at some similar films - full-length, but the same idea - you'll find things like "Cat's Eye" and "The Red Violin." The IMDB.com description of each: "Stephen…