AsheJo

141 points

159 points to Logliner

Loglines

on After an young girl is bought from slavery, she is taken to a school where she becomes a witch, where she uses her abilities to kill her former master and save her family.

Great, so we know the ending. Who needs to read the book now? Change to "where she must learn to use her powers" and you've got yourself a functional logline
on After a talented teenager foretold to be their future-supervillain is kicked out of the “planet of the heroes”, he discovers that the prophecies are infact a ploy by the great seer to usurp the throne and bring back the age of dark magic.

I think it's pretty awesome and a cool concept, but there's usually this "now he must do so-and-so", there's always a an objective that is to be mentioned in the logline. Also try and make it short. For example, "planet…
on After the mysterious death of his colleague, a scientist discovers one of their test subject is awake to exact revenge on those involved in making him an undead

The protagonist's goal must be mentioned in the logline itself (not the description). So the undead is not the antagonist? It's the 'bad scientist' that's the antagonist? Reading the logline I thought it was the undead subject, but on reading…